luna’s birth story

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I held Luna in my arms tonight, like I do every night while Brandon coaxes Izzy to sleep. She started dozing as I cradled her and, true to form, fell asleep smiling. It’s been two months since she came into this world and my sweet moment of joy with her prompted me to start writing her birth story. Pandemic aside, it was very different from my labor and birth with Isaac.

It felt like I’d been in labor all of September. Throughout my life I’d heard that the second baby always comes early, so even though I wasn’t due until the 25th, I was anticipating going into labor before then, especially since Isaac had come five days before his due date. I did not want to make it to my due date, mostly because prenatal appointments during a pandemic were depressing and stale. But no amount of walking sent me into labor, so I went to see my NP on my due date. I was 2cm dilated two weeks beforehand, and when my NP checked me she said I was almost at 3. She was prepared to let me go to 41 weeks before recommending an induction but asked me if I wanted her to strip my membranes.

Like most women who make it to their due date, I was ready to go into labor. I didn’t want to wait another week, so I said yes.

Oh my gosh did it hurt. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I wasn’t prepared for that level of discomfort. Thankfully, it was over quickly.

The contractions started that night. I’d had bouts of false labor contractions the whole month but as soon as the real ones kicked in, I couldn’t help but feel silly that I’d thought I might be going into labor all those weeks before.

Having gone through a long labor with Isaac, I didn’t want to rush to the hospital too quickly, especially because of the pandemic. I also didn’t want to labor on one and a half hours of sleep again, so I went to bed to try to get as much rest as I could. My contractions weren’t strong enough to keep me awake so I slept relatively well that night.

The contractions continued all day Saturday but no true rhythm seemed to appear. The app I was using to track my contractions told me to call the hospital a few times and I finally did around 2pm. My contractions were stronger than they’d been the night before and coming every nine minutes or so. When I spoke to the labor and delivery nurse, she told me that my contractions weren’t close enough together. She said I could go in to see how dilated I was but that there was next to no chance that they would admit me. I must have been the 11th person to call in 10 minutes because she seemed to have zero interest speaking to me. I tearfully hung up and was immediately pissed. I came out of my room and demanded that we get out of the house. I was sick of timing contractions and I needed something to take my mind off of it. We landed on going to the carwash.

By the time Brandon’s car got its much needed cleaning, it was close to dinnertime. We opted for In N Out and I stayed in the car with Isaac while Brandon went inside to order. It was there that my contractions reached a whole new level of intensity. They were getting closer together too. We got home and Brandon quickly threw together an overnight bag for Izzy while I continued to labor.

Here is probably a good time to tell you that I watched exactly one video to help refresh my memory on how to breathe during labor. It was wildly helpful to me this time around especially as I headed into the more intense part of labor.

We’d called my parents to let them know I was actually, finally in labor. My dad got to our place and we said goodbye to Izzy, who practically ran out the door without saying bye to us, as toddlers do.

My dad was in our doorway when I finally had to support myself against our couch during a contraction. It started taking my absolute full attention to my breath for me to relax my body during the contractions. Relax is probably the wrong word here. I felt more like I was leaning into the skid. I feel like birth classes always liken contractions to a wave, and after this labor I think I finally get why.

Not five minutes after my dad left, I had a gut feeling we needed to go to the hospital. My contractions still weren’t super close together and my water hadn’t broken but they were getting closer and stronger each time. I told Brandon that I didn’t care if I wasn’t admitted, I needed to know how much I’d dilated. We loaded up our bags and headed to the hospital. On the way, I told Brandon that I was fully prepared for them to tell me I was at three and a half centimeters and send me home. I didn’t want to have high expectations about how far along I was. I’d done that with Isaac and it was so demoralizing when I didn’t dilate as much as I’d thought. 

We got to triage and I got hooked up to the heart monitors and answered questions about how long I’d been laboring and how long I’d been laboring and what my plans were for pain management.

I’d gotten an epidural for my first birth and it was so helpful in creating the calm atmosphere I wanted to deliver in that I’d decided to get one again. I told the nurse that my plan was to get an epidural “eventually,” thinking I was still in the early stages of active labor.

There were several other women in triage at the same time as me, so my nurse ended up checking me to see how dilated I was. I figuratively held my breath and readied myself to hear that I wasn’t going to be admitted. Instead, I heard my nurse say “oh yeah, you’re staying. My fingers are doing the splits.”

Apparently I had a bulging bag and was SIX CENTIMETERS dilated. She radioed the team and I had at least one contraction on our walk to the delivery room.

A shift change brought me a new nurse, Shelby. She noticed that my contractions were lasting for close to a minute and a half each. I’d had a hunch that my contractions were lasting longer than the standard 45 seconds to a minute so it was nice to have confirmation of that.

The rest of the night was surprisingly calm. I got called a rock star so many times as I breathed through each intensifying contraction while waiting for the anesthesiologist. I know every birth is different so I do my best not to have too many expectations as I prepare to deliver. But I couldn’t help but remember how intense and taxing labor was with Isaac and immediately think how…easy this labor with Luna felt.

I got the epidural about an hour after getting admitted. I was honestly the most nervous about the epidural this time. I remembered how much getting it hurt the first time, plus one of my legs was numb for a day afterwards. Thankfully, I had an incredibly meticulous anesthesiologist who talked me through each step. Thankfully, I wasn’t sleep deprived and exhausted from hours of labor so I could actually follow instructions. Getting the epidural this time made me extra thankful for the anesthesiologist I had with Isaac. That man managed to get me the medication I needed and wanted with almost no help from me.

My nurse brought me some hospital Jello and got me all set up in my bed. It was probably close to midnight at this point so we tried to get some more rest.

My midwife came in about an hour later to check me. I was still at six centimeters and the bulging amniotic sack was basically holding my cervix open. My water still hadn’t broken (just like last time) so she asked me if it was alright for her to do it. I said yes. She broke my water and we found out that there was some meconium in it. It was well dispersed though, so she wasn’t worried about it affecting Luna’s delivery.

She checked me again now that my water was broken and said Luna’s head was moving its way down. I’ll never forget her telling the nurse (who was updating my chart) that things were changing as she was checking me because I had a contraction in the middle of the examination. I went from a six to a seven in one contraction which was enough progress for them to leave us to pass the time/get some rest. 

My nurse came in a few times to have me switch the side I was laying on to help avoid the one numb leg situation I’d had in my first delivery. After a few hours, I was starting to feel a slight pressure in my bum and a tiny urge to push. She called the midwife in to check me again.

My midwife checked to see how far along I was and in the most anticlimactic way ever said, “OK, let’s get the nurses in here. It’s about time to push.”

First push. They positioned my feet into the stirrups and turned on the one spotlight so the delivery team could see in our otherwise dimly lit room. My midwife asked me to do an uncoached practice push as I felt a contraction coming on.

Second push. The top of Luna’s head was peeking out and my midwife asked if I wanted to feel it during one of my breaks. I did and I immediately squealed, ha! It was so cool to get that first feel of her outside of my body.

Third push. Brandon wheeled over the mirror before I pushed again and this time Luna’s head started really crowning. My midwife coached me through taking this part of delivery slowly since I wanted to avoid tearing.

Fourth push. My contractions were completely stacking on top of each other, so my midwife told me to just go for it and keep pushing. Next thing I knew, she was out and I could hear her crying.

They laid her on my chest and I weepily ripped off my mask (that I didn’t even realize I was still wearing) so I could get a good look at my daughter. She was here. She was perfect. She was ours.

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